OPINION-PIECE
(picture source ://SOWETANLIVE)
Lurnay Tshabalala-Mavuso | Senior Reporter | Columns & Opinions | 23 October 2023
It is just yesterday when Springbok captain Siya Kolisi and his wife, Rachel Kolisi announced on their instagram pages that they are divorcing. The Kolisis shared these news via a shared post on their instagram pages, where they state clearly that they have set down and reached to an agreement to go separate ways with their marriage, but continue to be good friends and co-parents for their children's sake, they also agreed to remain good business partners as they together run the Kolisi Foundation. Now so much has been said by the media and by people via social media, which makes me realize that people do not really understand that the Kolisis had no obligation to let us know of this decision that they have taken which affects their personal lives, but because they are public figures they have decided to share respectfully what they would like to share about their separation.
However people and the media feel entitled to talk and have opinions about their lives and their marriage, which they in actual fact aren't entitled to at all. The aim of this writing is to highlight the importance of reading for understanding and also to highlight the importance of knowing when to keep your opinions, especially when it comes to people's private affairs which they have decided to share a bit about only because of the status they carry within the public sphere.
FIRSTLY
The Kolisis could have been silent about these news but they decided to share because they do not want a long and dragging social media "court of public opinion", about why they aren't posting with each other anymore or why they aren't being seen together anymore. They decided to post and share these news with the public because they do not want any speculations made by people and the media, particularly gossip columns who will do anything for powerful clickbaits and an increase in readership, while not bearing in mind that the Kolisis have children who they need to protect at all times, because times have evolved and children can now access social media and online news, they can get to read propaganda via online platforms and to make matters worse, their children could get bullied at school because of published propaganda via gossip columns and social media platforms. So I will definitely give a big clap for the Kolisis on controlling the narrative for their separation.
SECONDLY
The Kolisis have shared via the instagram post that they have reflected and had open conversations upon reaching their decision. So those who feel disappointed because the Kolisis have decided to part ways are really out of their minds because from a legal analyst's point of view, no one would be happy or rejoice that they are getting divorced especially when there are children involved. Children are most likely to be the ones affected by divorce more than the two separating parties because children have gotten accustomed to having two of their parents living together under one roof and witnessing their parent's love growing right in front of their eyes. So consider all of that and then think carefully before expressing your "disappointment" about the lives of people who are also entitled to own their individual selves and mental well-beings. Just because the Kolisis are public figures, this does not give anyone a right to have a say or make an speculations on their marriage and why it did not work out. People can only get to comment on weddings not marriages, I say this because weddings are for people and marriages are for two individuals who have came together and formed a union, built a home and a family which the public definitely did not help build. So stop being entitled!!
LASTLY
Yes they were what many looked up to as a married couple but bear in mind that even in the lives of the most adored and cherished individuals or couples, life does tend to be hard on them too and it is within every couple or individual to decide how to deal with the situation they are facing, even if that means divorcing. Reaching the point of divorce means whatever challenge that is there is beyond repair and for the sake of their own individual peace and sanity, parting ways had to be the only amicable solution. So stop asking if there isn't anything they can do to fix this, the answer is no there isn't, and this is where now I teach you that learn to read for understanding, the post clearly states in simple and plain english that, they had reflected, had open conversations and reached a MUTUAL AGREEMENT, to end their marriage. Now what does that mean, this means that they have had the elders of their families come together and discussed their issues with them and gave them an opportunity to have say something and the decision was entirely upon them to part ways, because even when the elders have sat and discussed and probably even tried to convince them, the big decision lies upon the couple itself to make. So the couple's decision was to go separate ways and that is what we call mutual agreement.
So what better convincing would you as a member of the public or media do, that the elders who they had open conversations could not do. The answer is simple none! You cannot expect people to stay together because you enjoy consuming their couple content on social media, social media is not real life and at most times could be an orchestration of something that doesn't exist and make it look existent. So the importance of keeping your opinions to yourselves comes from firstly learning to read things clearly and with understanding and not skim through them and open your flag of entitlement to things that do not even concern you. Marriage is for two people not the whole nation, so on the Kolisis behalf, MAY THEY KINDLY HAVE YOUR RESPECT AS THEY NAVIGATE THEIR TRANSITION.
TSAKANE INFORMER