By Lurnay Tshabalala-Mavuso | Essay | Feb 2023 | Personal Development
Sometimes we spend years and years looking in places that we aren’t supposed to look in, end up getting ourselves into situations that become hard to get out of and even go to an extent of giving up on ourselves because we have now found belief that our purpose and destiny does not exist. This happens to so many of us and as it happens we start losing ourselves bit by bit, and we start adopting habits that eat us up to the bone and when our skeletons are now unhidden we want to duck whilst we have already been seen for who and what we are. That is why you find people asking themselves questions about you, saying “What happened to him/her?, she/he used to be really smart” , the real truth is that you aren’t ‘used-to be”, you are still smart, you have just passed through experiences in your life that have changed you and also suppressed the smart you. What you also did not know is that, you can get the smart you out of that mental prison. It will just need time, healing, understanding and patience. Not forgetting commitment. Another mistake we make as millenials is that of committing ourselves to things that we are supposed to detach from. We tend to believe that those things should give us validation and that they are important to us because they are exposing us to the world, to make us cool, like-able and admirable, but the honest truth is, even when things are working out in those commitments, the skeletons still remain unhidden because that is who you are, that is how you feel and that is how things are in your life right now.
Yours is to stop looking further and running. Yours is to look closer and walk slowly, start with the most uncomfortable thing that most of us runaway from, which is BEING BY YOURSELF. By this I mean detaching from everything in the world and from your surroundings, give yourself a Me-Time and get to know yourself. You will find out things about yourself that you never knew, you will start seeing your potential, your possibilities and mostly you will start being comfortable with yourself and find what’s holding you back, in that process you will find ways of how to re-evaluate and how to re-start and draw again. This will enable healing, love, greatness, potential, strength, courage and motivation in you. You will see that you have deprived yourself of so much time that you could have spent knowing and loving yourself , but instead gave it to the soul-eaters that nearly finished you. This is why most people end up taking their lives, because it is hard for them to look deep into them, it is hard for them to find the discomfort in them and strive at finding ways of how to tackle that. Yes! I know it is not easy, but then the honest truth is nothing good in this life comes easy, it always comes hard.
Finding your purpose and destiny :
You find your purpose and destiny by allowing yourself to feel, allowing yourself to be free and also allowing yourself to be vulnerable to every circumstance in your life. Mostly you find your purpose by admitting that life is not easy and that it was never meant to be easy, also by believing that you going through the things that you are going through in your life is God preparing you for something bigger and better. Your purpose and destiny are in the palm of your hands, give yourself sometime to sit down alone in a quiet space, stretch out your hands and look at them. Think deeply and slowly say, Who am I? What am I capable of? What are my aspirations? What is my biggest dream? And lastly, Where am I going?. All those questions will help you realize the real you, your purpose and your destiny. I’m not saying that you will get the answers immediately or hear a voice from the sky giving you answers, but this will instill the researcher in you, you will feel the need and urge to stand up and find the answers and once you get the answers you will have found your purpose and your destiny. Patience is key and virtue, prayer and consistency too are key and virtue. Invite peace in your life by allowing God to take charge, call on him and ask him to take charge and also bear in mind that success is not a destination but a process, once you inculcate that into your medulla you will start viewing life with a different eye and you will also start being appreciative of all your experiences and your achievements, both good and bad. You will reach your goal, once you start believing in your God and mostly in yourself.
GOOD LUCK!!